ETIQUETTE ~ COLLEGE AND BEYOND ~ YOUR CELL

Emily Post Etiquette

College and Beyond ~ You’re on your own, and it’s great!

But what do you do when your roommate never does the dishes, you don’t know what to wear to a job interview, and your friends haven’t let you know if they’re coming to your big party?

We can show you how to successfully navigate the pleasures and perils of independent life. You can browse the articles and videos below or search our site. It’s often the easiest way to find the articles you need.

If you can’t find the answer here, our books provide a complete resource for life in college and beyond.

Your Cell

The essential rules of phone etiquette

Four Essential Cell Phone Rules

*1. Turn it off. If the ringing of your phone is going to bother the people around you – especially if you’re in a meeting, at a play or movie or concert, or in a quiet place like a library or church – turn your phone off or switch the ringer to silent or vibrate mode.

*2. Step away. Whenever you’re around other people and you receive or make a cell phone call, move a short distance away so that you can talk without disturbing the people around you. If you’re with a group, simply excuse yourself for a few minutes. “Sorry, I need to take this call. I’ll be right back.” Then keep the call as brief as possible.

*3. Don’t say anything personal, private or confidential if you’re in a place where others might be able to overhear you. Instead, arrange a time to call back when you can speak privately.

*4. Watch the volume. For some reason, people’s phone voices are always louder than the voice they use in normal conversation. Add to that the noise of a busy sidewalk or the background noise of a public place, and the urge to shout can become overwhelming. But remember – you’re the one fighting to hear over the noise, not the person you’re speaking with. So give everyone a break, and remember to tone it down.

Cell Tips: What to Do Where

If your cell phone rings and you’re…

… In a restaurant

Excuse yourself from the table and take the call in another room, such as an anteroom, restroom or lobby. Never disturb your own table and other diners by making or taking a call while sitting at the table. (Some ‘cell-phone free’ restaurants now actually require diners to check their phones at the door.)

…On the street

Be careful not to talk too loudly. And since talking on a phone has been shown to distract people from their immediate surroundings, for safety’s sake, pay extra attention to where you’re walking.

… At the movies

If there’s an all-important call that you absolutely have to take, set your ringer ahead of time to “vibrate” and try to sit in an aisle seat if possible. When your phone rings, quickly excuse yourself to the lobby to answer the call.

… In a car or on a train or bus

Since the people traveling with you in a car or on a bus or train are a captive audience, you should restrict yourself to only the most essential calls – let your rehashing of last night’s party wait until the trip’s over – and keep all phone conversations as short as possible. On a train, consider stepping into the vestibule area between train cars to make any lengthy calls. If you’re riding in a “quiet car” on a train, keep your phone on “vibrate” and move immediately to the vestibule or another car if you need to answer a call. Finally be aware that speaking on a handheld phone while driving is now against the law in many places so if you need to make or answer a call while you’re at the wheel, either pull over or get a headset that will let you talk while leaving your hands free.

News Flash: You Don’t Always Have to Answer It

Before cell phones and caller ID, we invited friends over, and they spent hours without answering their phones. Those landline phones stayed at home. Today, people don’t go to the bathroom without taking a cell phone. If your cell phone rings constantly, keep in mind that you’re putting the people you’re hanging out with “on hold” every time you take a call. When you’re with friends, use your judgment before reaching for that ringing phone; in fact, think twice about even leaving it on. After all, your caller can always leave a message.

When you decide to break away to take a call, excuse yourself and step away. If the call involves anything other than a very brief conversation, let the caller know that it’s not a good time to talk and you’ll call him or her back at another time.

Remember: You are in control of your cell phone.

Taking a call signals that the person you are with is less important than the person calling. If that’s not the impress you want to make, don’t take the time to call – the caller can always leave a message.

Text Messaging

I love text messaging

With it you can get a message to someone without causing their phone to ring at an in opportune time, ask a friend a question and let them respond at their leisure, or just shout out a quick greeting to someone without making a big deal about it. There are, however, a few text-message etiquette tips to keep in mind.

*Text-messaging is not an alternative to using the phone when calling would be considered rude. You would not take a call in the middle of a movie, a performance, or a meeting, and likewise, you should not send text messages.

*Make sure you’re texting to the right phone number! It’s very easy to dial the wrong number or select the wrong phone book entry.

*Don’t text message anything confidential, private or potentially embarrassing. You never know when someone might be looking over your significant other’s shoulder – or worse yet, when your message might get sent to the wrong person.

*If you text-message someone who doesn’t have your phone number, start your message by stating who you are: “Hi – it’s Kate (yoga). Chiropractor’s number is: 1-802-555.2020. Good luck.”

*When you get a chance, respond to a text message with either brief text message or a phone call.

*Just as you should not be answering your phone during a conversation, you should not send a text message when you are engaged with someone else. If you are with someone who will not stop text messaging during your conversation, feel free to excuse yourself until they have concluded their messaging.

*You shouldn’t use text messaging when informing someone of sad news, business matters, or urgent meetings, unless it’s to set up a phone call on the subject.

*If you receive a text message that was sent to you by mistake, reply explaining that you aren’t the intended recipient. You don’t have to respond to anything else in the message.

*Finally, remember that as with email, you can’t know for sure when the recipient is going to read his or her message – so don’t freak out if your text message doesn’t get an immediate response.