The Balmy Bahamas Cruise - Standard Version for 12 females

MERRI MYSTERIES

“THE BALMY BAHAMAS CRUISE”

STANDARD VERSION FOR 12 FEMALES

THE SUSPECTS

Tilly Song (a megastar singer) has hired a luxury-plus cruiser to see the Bahamas and have a holiday. She has invited a variety of other famous people along to share the lobster. But just as the party was about to start, Karl Virgil, musician and mad-man troublemaker, has been found overboard as full of water as he was of his own self-importance. Was it one of the singers, actors, the tennis or basketball star, or one of the others? Although we have more comedians on-board than we do detectives, this is no laughing matter. We have to find out who did it. The people present on board are:

⚓ TILLY SONG – I’m a soulful singer/songwriter with a voice as pure as the Canadian air I breathed when young. My voice has brought me wealth and fame and I like to share my good fortune with my friends. DRESS SUGGESTIONS: Wear your hair flat, maybe slicked back. Dress in simple, but well-styled clothes. Carry a guitar (or guitar case)

⚓ GERRI NETMAN – Don’t let my orange hair and tattoos confuse you or I will have the ball in the basket before you’ve have time to say my name. DRESS SUGGESTIONS: Wear orange hair, fake tattoos, and basketball clothes. Carry a basketball.

⚓ MAGNOLIA LOLLIPOP – I’m a stand-up comedian. As my name indicates, I’m a cross between a perfume and a candy store. Don’t sniff too hard or you’ll eat me. DRESS SUGGESTIONS: Dress as a little girl complete with ribbons on your hair and a lollipop in your mouth.

⚓ Gillian Trueheart – I’m a comedy writer. I write very funny books. Some say I’m crass, outspoken, brutally honest and controversial – a loving force to be reckoned. And I have to agree. Dress Suggestions: Wear a dark haired wig. Dress in avant-garde clothes. Add a heart on your sleeve.

⚓ Cosi LuvLuvLuv – When I play tennis with you, don’t try and hit back. Just watch the ball zoom past – if you can see it! Some say I’m brilliant, honest and bold. I say – watch that ball! Dress Suggestions: Wear tennis clothes. Carry a racquet. Also add some flashy jewelry.

⚓ Estrella Martini – I’m from Argentina. In the past I sang duets with Tilly, but now I don’t need her help. My dark Latin looks and charms have won me my own fame. Dress Suggestions: Wear a clingy outfit.

⚓ Hertha Haywire – With my own TV talk show, what more could I want besides maybe a bit of peace and quiet? But I like to challenge people so I only have myself to blame for stirring up hornet’s nests. Dress Suggestions: Wear a suit (e.g. a pink one) with a black T-shirt underneath. You are definitely not slim, so you may need to add some padding.

⚓ Durga – As a child I saved my village from raiders. With my newfound sense of power, I went on to become a TV hero. Now I devote myself to fighting for the greater good. Dress Suggestions: Dress as a warrior. Carry a sword.

⚓ Angelica – After Durga saved me from being slain when I was a child, I pledged my life to roaming the world with her. I learned to fight and now I am her co-star on TV as a princess. Dress Suggestions: Dress as a princess, but carry a sword.

⚓ Twinkle-Fingers – Like Elvis I’m back for a visit from the other side complete with flamboyant outfits, glitter, gold and magic piano playing hands. I wasn’t invited. I am just ghosting around. Dress Suggestions: Wear a flamboyant outfit with lots of glitter and add gold chains and lots of rings. Add white powder as you are a ghost.

⚓ Shirley Frosty – I’m a serious actor/director/producer with a capital S. I’m also a classy lady. I have had lots of practice; having started in this career aged 3. I prefer to lead a very private life. Dress Suggestions: Wear a straight blonde/ brown wig. Dress in stylish clothes. Carry a video camera.

⚓ Claudine Shifty – I’m a world famous model. Men swoon at my feet and are in total adoration of my fabulous looks. When it comes to work, I can name my own price. Dress Suggestions: Dress like a beauty queen with a blonde wig, tight fitting dress, extra padding around your breasts (add some socks). Add lots of lipstick.

The following people shared cabins:

⚓ Durga and Angelica

⚓ Cosi and Gerri

⚓ Hertha and Magnolia

⚓ Gillian and Estrella

⚓ Twinkle-fingers and Karl Virgil

⚓ Shirley and Claudine

⚓ Tilly

The Captain had a cabin near the spa and the chef had a cabin near the gym. There were no other crew or staff on board.

THESE ARE THE CLUES FOR TILLY SONG

TILLY SONG – ACT ONE

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

⚓ I grew up in a small town on the northern prairies of Canada. Naturally, I started off singing country music.

⚓ I have broadened my style. I’m sort of moving towards an unstructured song type. I’m also toying with the idea of maybe doing a musical. I think that would be fun, as long as I’m the star.

⚓ Sometimes I do things that confuse people like writing a CD called “Hill-billy Hero” yet I can’t stand Hill-billy music and you won’t find any on my CD. I want to get people thinking – that’s all.

⚓ I didn’t meet Karl Virgil till I was on board. I certainly hadn’t invited him to be a guest on the cruise.

⚓ At first Karl Virgil seemed sweet. He wanted to tune my guitar for me. I don’t usually let anyone touch my guitar but he’s a musician so I thought it would be alright. Then he proceeded, deliberately I think, to break all of my guitar strings.

⚓ There were no signs of a physical struggle on Karl Virgil’s body.

TILLY SONG – ACT TWO

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

⚓ While we were on board, Karl Virgil sang a few of his new numbers. That’s when I realized that he had stolen some of my lyrics. He’d reversed them a bit and sang them differently, but they were definitely my lyrics.

⚓ I asked Karl Virgil who wrote his songs. He said that he helped to write some of them.

⚓ I sang the songs that he’d stolen the lyrics from. But Karl Virgil didn’t bat an eyelid.

⚓ I was fuming on the inside. But I pretended to be cool on the outside. We stars are used to this dichotomy of emotions. We can’t let the paparazzi, or other stars for that matter, see our real feelings.

⚓ I saw you Twinkle-fingers. You kept creeping up on Karl Virgil. I think you were trying to scare him to death because you couldn’t kill him any other way. As a ghost, your hands pass through anybody you try to touch.

TILLY SONG – ACT THREE

During this act you must reveal the following points:

⚓ When Karl Virgil went to sit next to me at dinner last night, I exploded. I was just sick of the sight of him. I told him to find another table and bother someone else for a change. I am normally a very polite person, so I found this very hard to do. I was amazed when he just stood there. He stood there for a full five minutes without saying anything.

⚓ As they said recently on TV “Karl Virgil enjoys playing the victim” – that’s why he even has a song called “I’m A Loser” which is all about rejection.

⚓ Frankly having seen how Karl Virgil behaves in public, I am not surprised that he has been rejected so many times. Sure he could have poured on the charm when he wanted to, but at other times he was terribly rude.

⚓ Karl has a song called “Do You Want Me To Go?” I often think of answering it with a loud “YES”. But much as I would have liked to kill him – that lyric thief – I didn’t.

⚓ I was having a spa at the time. Durga was also enjoying the bubbles with me. Shirley was there part of the time. The spa is diagonally across from Durga and Angelica’s room. I saw Karl knock on their cabin door and he was admitted.

⚓ (If someone asks you why you were coming out of the galley when you were supposed to be in the spa, say )I was getting myself a cold drink.

THESE ARE THE CLUES FOR: GERRI NETMAN

GERRI NETMAN – ACT ONE

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

✰ I am tall, so I play basketball. It is as simple as that. But beside my basketball skills, which are fantastic, I am also an actor. I starred in the movie “Action Traction.”

✰ I’m a writer as well. My book is called “Hitting Life Hard.” It’s selling well.

✰ I’m also a businesswoman with my own concreting company in Kansas.

✰ I met Karl Virgil going up the gangway. He got on board first and then tried to keep me from coming on board by pushing me back. But I am a pretty strong woman so he was no match for me. I wouldn’t have missed this cruise for anything.

✰ Later when Karl emerged from hiding on board, he said he’d only been fooling around with me. But I could see in his eyes that he really didn’t want me on board. Maybe didn’t like the color of my hair.

GERRI NETMAN – ACT TWO

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

✰ As the days went by, things got worse between Karl Virgil and me. He stopped bothering to be civil most of the time.

✰ If it weren’t for Karl Virgil, we would have been one big happy family. We all got on really well. But Karl Virgil kept picking fights with everyone except Tilly. He was nice to her because she was the host and he knew she could have put him off the ship.

✰ My niece back home loves Karl Virgil. She listens to all his music and has his poster above her bed. She will be jealous that I traveled with him.

✰ One time, I heard you Claudine. You were having what sounded like a lovers’ tiff with Karl Virgil. You said you’d push him overboard if he kissed you in public again. I left you both and went back upstairs.

✰ When Karl Virgil heard I’d acted in a movie, he suddenly changed his attitude towards me and was very nice. He asked me to get him a role in a movie. When I refused, he said he’d arrange for me to be left at the next island.

GERRI NETMAN – ACT THREE

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

✰ In the morning I overhead Karl Virgil having a mobile phone conversation with what sounded like a hired thug. He said he wanted a lady with orange hair removed from “The Goombay” Nassau.

✰ Hearing that Karl was plotting to remove me was the last straw. What right did he have to make me go home, when he was the one person who wasn’t even invited on the cruise?

✰ I told Tilly what I had heard. She was very upset about it and she said she would tell Karl Virgil that his uninvited stay was over and that he would have to leave the ship tomorrow morning when we docked at Nassau.

✰ When Tilly told Karl she was putting him off the ship tomorrow, he said that was fine because had friends in Nassau.

✰ I was up on the deck playing basketball with Cosi all afternoon. While I was playing I did notice Shirley climbing the communication tower. I thought she was pretty game to do that. When Cosi and I went to look at the captain’s pet monkey, to our horror, we found it was dead.

THESE ARE THE CLUES FOR TWINKLE-FINGERS

TWINKLE-FINGERS – ACT ONE

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

✰ I have passed beyond to the world of eternal glitter. But sometimes I come back to add a bit of razzle/dazzle to people’s lives back on earth.

✰ People say they hear beautiful piano melodies whenever I approach them. That’s truly divine music, isn’t it?

✰ Don’t believe them when they say you can’t take it with you. Look at me, I am covered in jewels. Aren’t they stunning?

✰ Karl Virgil said he didn’t believe in ghosts, but eventually he had to agree he could see me. Everyone on board the cruiser could see me. Luxury cruisers deserve high-class ghosts like me.

✰ Karl Virgil told people I could only play a handful of numbers on the piano. He thought I’d been a fake. I was hurt. It just isn’t true (sobbing). Why I worked these fingers to the bone practicing. That’s why I wear all these rings – just to hide my damaged fingers.

✰ Karl Virgil sees himself as a big-timer stirrer. The first time I saw him on board, he stole my toupee. I think it was all just a sign of his intense jealousy of me.

TWINKLE-FINGERS – ACT TWO

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

✰ Karl Virgil and I were sharing a cabin together. At first he thought had a cabin all to himself. That was until he admitted that I existed.

✰ Karl Virgil was annoyed he had to share a cabin. He wasn’t even invited. Neither was I but then I’m an asset to any gathering, aren’t I darlings? Karl was horrible to me. Whenever I spread out my cosmetics, like my life-saving wrinkle cream and so on, he pushed them off the bench. Very nasty, he was – nasty.

✰ Ghosts don’t snore, so he was lucky in that sense. We don’t snore because we don’t sleep. We’ve got insomnia big time. Seeing me sitting reading all night unnerved him a bit.

✰ After he made that nasty unfounded remark about my piano playing abilities, I must admit that I did make his life hell. In the middle of the night, I scraped my fingers down the mirror. He woke up, but he didn’t realize why.

✰ When I discovered that Tilly had brought an electric organ on board, I decided to prove to Karl Virgil that I can play. So I had the organ brought to our cabin and for 12 hours straight, I played him number of after number – all different and all perfect. I had him locked in our cabin. Eventually he yelled so loud that someone came to let him out.

TWINKLE-FINGERS – ACT THREE

During this act, you must reveal the following points:

✰ You would have thought Karl Virgil would apologize for his remark about my skills. But no, he just glared at me. I think he was angry because of the day he’d spent listening to my divine music.

✰ Karl did something that really upset me. He flushed my expensive anti-wrinkle cream down the you-know-what! He did it right in front of my eyes. I couldn’t believe it.

✰ I tried to hit him over the head with a pot plant but every time I snuck up on him, he moved. It was very frustrating.

✰ I wanted to kill him and bury him properly so that he goes to hell rather than floats around in purgatory with me. If only I had had a church funeral, maybe I wouldn’t be in this ghastly ghostly predicament.

✰ While I was wafting around the place before lunch, I saw Estrella and Claudine discussing something in earnest in the lounge. I heard them say something about how it must look like an accident.